B

I am in love

I haven't felt this way in so long

Is this finally the end of a long journey?
Of tireless dating?
They would always look great on paper
I would try to make it work
When I just did not feel it

B is right on paper too
But this time I feel comfortable
I want to fall asleep in his arms
I don't want anyone else

He has all the good qualities of A
Without the bad
Ivy league educated
Owner of his company
In the music business
Smart
Cute
And unlike A
Single
Jewish
And lives in my city

The games are still there
It is only the beginning after all
The push and pull
The shifting of power every minute

But this time I have the upper hand

Only time will tell if he is the one
The last one
I will need to love me

Nineteen

How I loved you
I was nineteen
And rode on the back of your bike
I would wrap my arms around you
and hold on tight

I never wanted to let go
Wished I could keep you this close
So that I could smell you
All the time.

You were my soulmate
For that time
Late at night
We would talk about the universe

Why were we here
What were we meant to do with our lives
Your head was not close to the ground
Did you know how I felt?

...

Now we are older
But the same
You still call me when you awake from a dream
When you wonder if you are still on the right path
I always reassure you
I always have

Our friendship is so easy
So comfortable
Is that all it will be?

Our lips have never touched
You always had eyes for another
Until now

I don't have those feelings anymore
My thoughts are about another
Is that why you are drawing closer?
Always wanting what is not easily attained

I cannot see myself kissing you anymore

Deceived

I thought it was over
That he was the one

After all the dinners
The drinks
The laughs

My trip made sense to me
It was all for a purpose
So that we would meet

Before I left the city
I went to his place
And spent the night

How wonderful to be in his arms

But I was wrong
He turned cold
And I felt empty

He was injured
But I sensed there was something more

In the morning he was quiet
His heart turned to stone
No kisses
No hugs
No smiles

I walked him to the subway
And we said goodbye

I walked home alone
Wondering what had just happened
Three days of fun had ended so coldly

I was stunned into silence and confusion

It has been a week since we have spoken
I think I understand what happened

I didn't give myself to him

I guess he was just like every other guy
He tried to impress me
To get one thing
That I refused to give him

I am not that easy after all

Have you ever been in love?

Yes
With a boy
Who has long hair
And brown eyes

He went to Italy
And brought me wine

And now he's in New York
And I will meet him on Saturday at The Time

He is passionate
And warm
He holds me tight at night
Never lets go
Signs his emails "xo"

Where will this go?
It does not matter.

His kisses so soft
His words so kind
I am his fan
And he is mine.

My Vision

To allow you
To be a part of my journey
Through this beautiful life
In poems
Not prose

The loves
The heartbreaks
My innermost thoughts
And desires

My hopes